New Adventures

I seriously love life. So many painful things and hurtful people try to get us down, yet it is still lovely.

I've lost a lot of people in my life. The reasons usually involve that other person and I wanting to go different ways with our lives. It hurts when someone wants to live a completely different lifestyle. It kills to watch them walk away. You know what though? It's gonna keep happening. All we can do is love each person in our life and they decide what they want to do with theirs.

I have to be honest - I could really care less if I have another friend. I have one pretty close friend and I have people in my life who I can talk to and hang out with and all that stuff, but I don't have that intimate relationship with another person. The kind of relationship where both know everything about the other. The reason why I could care less is because friends leave when they feel it's time to. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but it just happens. Eventually you come to this point in your journey where there's a fork in the road - you want to go one way and your friend wants to go the other. I mean it's just a part of life.

I could be wrong about this whole friends thing. Especially since the people I've told say that they value friendships. I can't help but feel like I'm missing something. Yet still, the desire to open myself up to someone who will most likely walk away is just not there.

Who I do want is my husband. Not some boyfriend - but the man who will stay. The two of us will walk together on this journey, and when we come to forks in the road, we'll both go the same way - even if there are disagreements about it. On our wedding day we're pledging to walk on the same path, through thick and thin.

So I guess my prayer to God has been that I don't need any more friends, I just want my husband.

But in the meantime, I am enjoying the life I have.

I'm twenty. I'm single. I have a part-time job. I have so many opportunities ahead of me.

And I'm going to take advantage of each one.

Training to be an office counselor for Alternatives has been like stepping into a dream come true. I've been volunteering there for two years, and my desire during this time was to actually be in action - stepping into the darkness and bringing light to these women. Loving them extravagantly where they are. This is my passion. I'm learning how to be a light in the darkness. I'm learning how to listen to the brokenhearted. I will be noticing the unnoticed, giving a voice to the voiceless, a name to the nameless and a face to the faceless. This has been my heart's biggest desire, and watching God unfold it like a precious gift right before my eyes has been incredible. I've already learned so much and I still have much more to learn.

Then getting to be president of the Alternatives on campus. I know that I'm where I need to be, and it's such a freeing and simply great feeling. I'll only be going to school part-time, and one of my classes is online, but still, I know I'm going to be used wherever I am. I know I can love whether I'm sitting in class, sitting at a display table, or sitting in a coffee shop doing my homework. Love has no boundaries or barriers. If it does, we've placed them there and we aren't truly loving.

You know, and because there is no one to tie me down, I can travel. This has always been such a huge desire of mine. I love seeing the world. Going places I've never been, that is always exciting. So for either winter or spring break, I'm trying to plan a trip to Utah (I know, real exciting). I met some amazing people in a small town there and I would love to just go visit them for a bit. Next summer, my friend and I want to take a road trip to Napa Valley and then drive down to San Diego, just so we can see it. Just because we can.

Eventually I will go to Boston. Past eventually, I'll visit the places outside of the U.S. that I'd absolutely love to see.


This is life folks. It's meant to be lived fully.

And that is exactly what I plan on doing. And you know what? I feel like I am living it up.

I love this life.

--Peace and Love.