"You Still Hurt Me."

I've been screwed by people over and over again. I've been lied to. I've been rejected. I've been a doormat, a rag to simply be used and then thrown away. I've let people drag me down, I've let them take me to some pretty dark places. I've let people mess with me, I have. I knew I was their little rag doll, and still I let them toss me wherever they wished. I've been deeply hurt by others, and I've let them do it.

But you know what's beautiful about it all? It's that everybody hurts everyone at some point in their lives. Everyone knows how it feels to be screwed with, to be used and rejected. Everyone knows the feeling of being deeply hurt by someone they loved with everything they are. We all have this in common.

What's beautiful is that Jesus even felt and feels these same things, yet He still gave and still gives everything He is. Because Jesus endured all these and still loves us with a deep, unfathomable and unconditional love,  He made it possible for all of us to do the same. That's what is so beautiful. Because now we have a choice.. after being screwed with and hurt by others, we can either push on and show His crazy, hardcore, radical love, or we can become bitter and hateful of people altogether. Because honestly, people will always hurt you, even (and sometimes, unfortunately, especially) by those who claim to follow Jesus. Some people just won't change when it comes to that.. but I can.

"Just as I'm called, I will show love, no pain no words will ever stop my heart! There is a war, for those I love, I will be strong..."

For me, it kinda feels like a challenge.. will I love in the face of pain, or even evil? Will I really love my enemies? Those who purposely hurt me and others? This is where God's real and hardcore love is found. And I guess the answer is, I can't do it unless God's doing it through me. That's why I need Him.. that's why we all do.

--Peace and Love.

Shika Baba

Your calling is huge. Your heart, enormous.
Your desire for us is real. Your love, hardcore.

The choice is mine - surrender my very being and let You have Your way, follow You into the dark and bring the Light of Love.

It's hard, it's exhilarating. It asks me to give up my very life, every single day, and live for You with my whole heart. It requires commitment, passion, hope and joy. The hardcore and real love of God pouring through me and out onto the world.

But You said Your yoke is easy, and Your burden light.
You have given me freedom through Your grace, I'm free.

To walk away would only promise emptiness, and a deep yearning and hunger.
To take up my cross is terrifying, but there would be nothing better.

There is nothing better. You are the best there is.
I want it.
I want You.

You said, "It's not about being hardcore on the outside, it's about having a hardcore heart."
Give me that heart.

I am unworthy. I'm not qualified. Yet, Your calling stands,
"Go get my kids and bring them Home."
"Be a confident and bold light in the darkness."
"Listen to the broken hearts."
"Touch people."
"Follow Me."

There is no uncertainty, no confusion. You have called me to bring Life to the dead. To love the unloveable. Touch the untouchable. You've called me to live like You did, to remain in You and Your love.

Lets go. Come on, lets do this.

I will hold onto You, Father.
Lets go, come on.

Take me away with You. You lead and I will follow.
I am Your servant, You are my God, my wonderful King of Love.

Lets go, come on!

--Peace and Love.