Beautifully Imperfect.

On more than a few occasions, I've received or purchased something that has just one small imperfection in it. The rest of the object is perfectly new, yet that one scratch, tear, distortion, or anything else remains imperfect. I used to always hate when this happened. I'd always want the whole thing to be perfect. I bought it with my own money, I sacrificed to get this product that now has an imperfection. I remember even once returning a doll I bought because her arm was disfigured. If it had even one thing wrong with it, I didn't want it.

I think I (and I know I'm not the only one who's done this) have transferred this thought over to the way I believe God feels about me. That if I have even one imperfection, I'll be "returned", rejected, unwanted. So I have strived to make sure that I "look good" to God, because, after all, He paid for me. He sacrificed His whole life, why would He do that to receive something imperfect?

Today, when I receive or buy something and then later learn that is has an imperfection, I feel happy. The imperfection marks it as mine, because it has, indeed, separated this thing from all the others just like it. No one else's object has this very specific imperfection in theirs, it's uniquely mine. I've found so much beauty in these random imperfections. I enjoy seeing them now. I see the imperfection and consider my purchase a good buy. I've bought something unique, something different, something that, by its imperfections, I can call my own. The sacrifice was worth it.

Yet.. when I first open the package to admire my newest purchase, and then find that it has an imperfection, a very small piece of me still wishes it wasn't there. A part of me is hurt by the fact that this thing that is now mine is not "perfect". I think we think the same things about ourselves. No matter how "beautifully imperfect" we are, deep down we still yearn for perfection.

When I meditate on what Jesus did on the cross, I see that He, fully knowing our imperfections, very intentionally paid the price of His life for us. He bought us with His very own blood. He sacrificed His life. And for what, exactly? A group of perfect people who had it all together? Nope.. but for an imperfect world with broken hearts, dirty hands, and screwed up lives. That's what makes what Jesus did so incredibly beautiful. While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us (Romans 5.8). This is the beauty of the gospel. And when Jesus looks down on all these people He's died for, He sees a good buy, He sees the sacrifice as worth it. He sees our imperfections and sees beauty, because He knows the life He is offering us. The life that makes us whole again. He sees the potential for a new creation.

See, Christ doesn't look our imperfections and then throw us away or "return" us to where He found us. He sees what's wrong, broken, and not good in us and gives us His life so we can be a new creation. All we have to do is accept His life. 2 Corinthians 5.17 says that if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old is gone, and the new is here.

Our imperfections have uniquely separated us from everyone else. These are the areas in each of us where we are weak. These are the parts of us we want no one to ever see. But Jesus sees our imperfections as the things that mark us as His, because in our weakness, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12.9-10). He sees our imperfections and says, "I can make you new." He sees the imperfections as an opportunity to create something beautiful. 

Yet many of us don't accept what Jesus has done and what He wants to do in our lives. Many of us see our imperfections and choose to live in them, rather than in Jesus. When Jesus sees our imperfections, it hurts Him, because He died so that He can make us new; make us whole. When we don't let Him do this we break His heart. We don't want to get better, we don't want to be made new.

When we're broken, when we're weak, when we're down, "imperfect", struggling, or whatever - even if we're facing nothing - run to Jesus. He can make us new, and make us whole again. He wants to make us new. He is our healer and restorer, no one else can do this, not even ourselves. Let's stop pretending we have it all together and start believing that Jesus does. He is perfection. And even in our imperfections, He wants us. He wants to make us new and whole again, and He's the only one who can do it.

We aren't perfect, but we are loved.

--Peace and Love.

He Has Regarded Our Helpless Estate

Even when the circumstances we face in life can feel so bleak, there is so much hope to hold onto, even in the little things.

This life we've been given is so incredibly beautiful.. it really is. I am so baffled when I sit and reflect on life's beauty. We face so much as people, we feel and experience  enormous amounts of incredible pain. We often feel the bitter, cold sting of loneliness as yet another relationship falls apart. We break into pieces at the realization of another lost dream. We're bent over by expectations placed on us by others, and by ourselves, that will never be met - yet, still we kill ourselves trying. Our warm beds do little to offer our empty, broken souls comfort while we fall asleep on pillows soaked with bitter tears. We chase after everything - relationships, appearance, success - just to fill this terrible void, this hole in the heart of us that reminds us daily that we are not whole. Our souls long for rest, for peace, for joy.. yet in all our meaningless searching we've only found more pain. We become so hopeless, so convinced that the only thing this life has to offer will eventually hurt us, and leave us even more broken than before. We settle for "good enough" because we no longer believe in "the best". Our souls are crying, and we refuse to be comforted because we don't believe that love comes freely. We have placed a price tag on everything - even on ourselves - and we spend each day trying to convince ourselves and each other that we are worth something. We bargain and bid, and when it feels as though time is running out, we sell ourselves for whoever the highest bidder is. We don't believe in unconditional love, because the only love we've seen always has conditions. We've been burned, we've been bruised, we've been broken, abused and used - all by those who claimed to love us. We no longer believe that there can be something else. We can no longer see that there is someone else.

We all have two things in common: We are all broken and our souls long to be whole, and we all have someone who gave us everything, who gives us everything, who has loved us with everything.

We were not meant to live this life of brokenness. We were never created to walk with our heads down. Our hearts were not intricately designed to be dragged on the ground in chains. We were never meant to be slaves.

We were made to be free. To live, to really live.. We were made to shine. We were created to live in intimacy with our Maker and each other. Our hearts were created for love - real, hardcore and unconditional love. Without such love we are never satisfied. We're here to simply be loved.. to be lavished in love, to be changed by love, to be made new in love, to live in love. We were meant to love - God and each other. This is our purpose - this is what we were meant for. This is what we were designed for. This is why we're alive. But we're so broken that we no longer believe we deserve this. We don't believe we are worth this kind of love.

But it is here. This love is being offered, and its only expectation and hope is to be accepted whole heartedly. Love is calling us. It sees our broken and helpless estate and cries, "Come here, come away with Me and be whole, and live free."

So will we, with our dirty hands take the graceful hand of Love Himself, Jesus Christ, and let Him lead us into a new and beautiful life with Him? Will we, knowing our brokenness, let Him carry us, heal us, and let Him teach us how to dance with Him? Will we let His Spirit replace our broken souls so we can finally live as whole beings in His freedom? Will we give Him our broken lives and let Him live His life, His way, through us? Will we let Him finally love us, and will we love Him back?

He is offering us a life of hope. A life where we can dream again. A life of beauty. A life of overflowing joy. A life of purpose. Will we accept this new life?

--Peace and Love.

LIVING LIFE

Looking over my life, I can't remember one instance where I truly believed that how I felt or what I thought was worth anything. Along with that, I can't remember a time in my life where I believed that I was worth anything. I don't ever remember feeling like I was valued or worth something.

That is sad.
But as people manipulated me, used me, hurt me, and left me, these thoughts and beliefs of thinking that I'm useless, I'm worthless, I'm a failure began to make sense to me in my mind. I started to believe these lies, I still believe these lies.

And so my whole life became a a vicious cycle of me trying to please people, trying to live up to the expectations of others, and trying to at least look like I have worth. Put on a front that I am valuable, even though inside I have never completely believed that. This brought nothing but bad relationships into my life that left me feeling all the more hurt and valueless. It brought expectations that I placed on myself that I could never even try to live up to. So I not only felt worthless, but I felt like a failure. I still feel worthless. I still feel like a failure.

But then something started happening - God stepped in, and He started showing me how He feels about me, and what He thinks about me.

I am undone when I think about all He's shown me that He believes about me..
He's opening my eyes to show me how I am loved, I do have value. I have incredible value. I do have worth. I'm not just worth something, to God, I'm worth everything.

How can I explain this?

God looks at me and He doesn't see a failure?
He sees me as something valuable?
He thinks I'm worth Him giving everything?
I can't make sense of that - my mind cannot comprehend it.
But my heart.. my heart is undone - it is beautifully broken at the thought of my God, my Father, my Lover, my King, my Friend, my Everything looking at me and seeing a treasure. Seeing His daughter, who He created so specifically for a specific purpose, and being pleased with her. Looking at me - nothing but a broken and shameful sinner - yet seeing my heart, and knowing that I have always been and will forever be His little girl. There's nothing I have done or will do that will change the fact that I am His.


I have value.
I have so much worth.
I am not a failure.

I'm a treasure.
I am loved.
I am a beautiful daughter of the Most High.
I'm a princess of the King.
I'm a warrior for my Lord.
I'm His little girl.
I'm His beloved.
I'm His..

And now I'm free to live this life He's created for me. Live out His purpose for my life. Live out His love for me and my love for Him.

There is no better life than this.

--Peace and Love.