I had a dream the other night that youth group was taking place in my backyard. I was seen as one of the leaders but I wasn't, there was no youth leader. I didn't recognize any of the kids, they were skaters who smoked and cussed all the time. I was putting on an apathetic attitude just to fit in. I never talked, never sang, I didn't do anything. One of the girls was going around asking people to lead worship, when she asked me I was like, heck no. Then a few of the kids she asked got up and started leading worship. I started looking at all the kids - some were singing, others were just sitting there, some were smoking. I remember thinking, "God is not real to these kids, they have never experienced Him in a real way." After I thought this, I felt this huge responsibility on my heart, like I was there to show them this real and hardcore God..
I can't stop thinking about this dream, and every time I think about it I get excited.
How real is this God to us?
After this dream, my prayer has been that God makes Himself and this love real to me in a hardcore way. When I read the gospels, and see how Jesus lived in His short life here on earth, I see nothing but a harcore love in a raw man. As I'm reading Acts, seeing how the disciples were literally transformed by this Jesus, I compare my own love to theirs. Those men knew beyond any doubt that this God was very real and their love for Him and the world was very hardcore. They let nothing stop them from boldy proclaiming this very real God to the world in a powerful way. No matter what hardships they faced, they pushed on, knowing that this Jesus proved to them that it was worth it. That there is nothing better than this love.
I want that confidence. I want that joy. I want that hope and peace.
I want that hardcore love.
Confidence is more than being right all the time, and having all the right answers. Cuz we won't.
Joy is more than having a smile on your face. It's deeper than that, it's a heart thing.
God's hardcore love is what changed and continues to change the world.
--Peace and Love.
July 27, 2011
July 25, 2011
Living Life to the Fullest
I had an amazing, humbling opportunity to share my testimony at church last Saturday.
...I am not a public speaker. I love teaching at youth group because it's a small and intimate setting - less intimidating. Still, I agreed to do it. The week prior, I was feeling very incapable and unworthy to share my heart with others. My insecurities rose as thoughts of my young age, my position and my weaknesses showed up. The Wednesday before, at bible study, an incredibly encouraging woman of the church said she had something to share, and that it was for me. She was reading through the lesson for children's church and told me about one of the activities in it. The lesson said to take a plastic bag, put a book on top of it and then blow through a straw into the bag to try and lift the book up. When she read this, she said God showed her that this was me. I am the plastic bag - I am seen as weak, even by myself, but God has made me powerful in His kingdom.
This is the second time I've been told that I will be powerful in God's kingdom, and it just makes me wonder - why me? If anything I am the least qualified for the job. However, God has shown me over the years that He places us (and I believe, quite purposefully) in situations where we are incredibly weak. I believe He does this because He wants us to depend solely on Him alone. God has done this numerous times in my life and I've seen Him do it in others' lives as well. When placed in a humbling situation like this, we have two options: Rely on God fully and move forward in boldness and faith, or runaway with doubts of whether we could ever do something like that.
The thoughts that go through my head when I'm shown one of these situations (like speaking) are that of running away. But when I think back on all my other moments of weakness, I see that God - even if it's at the very last moment - always shows up. So with humility I step forward, holding onto nothing but my Daddy's hand. With a nerve-racking exhilaration, I walk into what God calls me to, unsure yet excited to see what lies ahead.
God has very clearly shown me that the place I belong is on my knees. I constantly pray for humility - and God has always been quick to answer those prayers. I very strongly believe that none of this life can be lived if I think I can do it on my own. I know that I need Him.
After I spoke my dad said something really cool. He was reflecting on how much I've been through. I told him that yes, I've been through a lot, but compared to others, I really haven't. He said that what I have been through, though, I've taken complete advantage of. I've lived every moment to the full, whether it's good or bad, exciting or hurtful. I take every experience and live it, and learn as much as I possibly can from it.
That got me thinking about that quote, "Live life to the fullest" and how the people who believe in this quote are usually the ones living the happy part of life to the fullest. This isn't necessarily bad, but I believe in living every moment to the fullest - even the hard ones. You can learn a lot from the most painful experiences in life. That's why most of the time, those questions like, "Why does a good God let terrible things happen?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" cannot really be answered. All we can do is trust that our God is good and that there is so much more going on than what we can see.
Take advantage of those rough times that do come. Learn from them, you'll learn a lot more about yourself.
This, I believe, is truly "living life to the fullest."
--Peace and Love.
...I am not a public speaker. I love teaching at youth group because it's a small and intimate setting - less intimidating. Still, I agreed to do it. The week prior, I was feeling very incapable and unworthy to share my heart with others. My insecurities rose as thoughts of my young age, my position and my weaknesses showed up. The Wednesday before, at bible study, an incredibly encouraging woman of the church said she had something to share, and that it was for me. She was reading through the lesson for children's church and told me about one of the activities in it. The lesson said to take a plastic bag, put a book on top of it and then blow through a straw into the bag to try and lift the book up. When she read this, she said God showed her that this was me. I am the plastic bag - I am seen as weak, even by myself, but God has made me powerful in His kingdom.
This is the second time I've been told that I will be powerful in God's kingdom, and it just makes me wonder - why me? If anything I am the least qualified for the job. However, God has shown me over the years that He places us (and I believe, quite purposefully) in situations where we are incredibly weak. I believe He does this because He wants us to depend solely on Him alone. God has done this numerous times in my life and I've seen Him do it in others' lives as well. When placed in a humbling situation like this, we have two options: Rely on God fully and move forward in boldness and faith, or runaway with doubts of whether we could ever do something like that.
The thoughts that go through my head when I'm shown one of these situations (like speaking) are that of running away. But when I think back on all my other moments of weakness, I see that God - even if it's at the very last moment - always shows up. So with humility I step forward, holding onto nothing but my Daddy's hand. With a nerve-racking exhilaration, I walk into what God calls me to, unsure yet excited to see what lies ahead.
God has very clearly shown me that the place I belong is on my knees. I constantly pray for humility - and God has always been quick to answer those prayers. I very strongly believe that none of this life can be lived if I think I can do it on my own. I know that I need Him.
After I spoke my dad said something really cool. He was reflecting on how much I've been through. I told him that yes, I've been through a lot, but compared to others, I really haven't. He said that what I have been through, though, I've taken complete advantage of. I've lived every moment to the full, whether it's good or bad, exciting or hurtful. I take every experience and live it, and learn as much as I possibly can from it.
That got me thinking about that quote, "Live life to the fullest" and how the people who believe in this quote are usually the ones living the happy part of life to the fullest. This isn't necessarily bad, but I believe in living every moment to the fullest - even the hard ones. You can learn a lot from the most painful experiences in life. That's why most of the time, those questions like, "Why does a good God let terrible things happen?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" cannot really be answered. All we can do is trust that our God is good and that there is so much more going on than what we can see.
Take advantage of those rough times that do come. Learn from them, you'll learn a lot more about yourself.
This, I believe, is truly "living life to the fullest."
--Peace and Love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)