Living Life to the Fullest

I had an amazing, humbling opportunity to share my testimony at church last Saturday.

...I am not a public speaker. I love teaching at youth group because it's a small and intimate setting - less intimidating. Still, I agreed to do it. The week prior, I was feeling very incapable and unworthy to share my heart with others. My insecurities rose as thoughts of my young age, my position and my weaknesses showed up. The Wednesday before, at bible study, an incredibly encouraging woman of the church said she had something to share, and that it was for me. She was reading through the lesson for children's church and told me about one of the activities in it. The lesson said to take a plastic bag, put a book on top of it and then blow through a straw into the bag to try and lift the book up. When she read this, she said God showed her that this was me. I am the plastic bag - I am seen as weak, even by myself, but God has made me powerful in His kingdom.

This is the second time I've been told that I will be powerful in God's kingdom, and it just makes me wonder - why me? If anything I am the least qualified for the job. However, God has shown me over the years that He places us (and I believe, quite purposefully) in situations where we are incredibly weak. I believe He does this because He wants us to depend solely on Him alone. God has done this numerous times in my life and I've seen Him do it in others' lives as well. When placed in a humbling situation like this, we have two options: Rely on God fully and move forward in boldness and faith, or runaway with doubts of whether we could ever do something like that.

The thoughts that go through my head when I'm shown one of these situations (like speaking) are that of running away. But when I think back on all my other moments of weakness, I see that God - even if it's at the very last moment - always shows up. So with humility I step forward, holding onto nothing but my Daddy's hand. With a nerve-racking exhilaration, I walk into what God calls me to, unsure yet excited to see what lies ahead.

God has very clearly shown me that the place I belong is on my knees. I constantly pray for humility - and God has always been quick to answer those prayers. I very strongly believe that none of this life can be lived if I think I can do it on my own. I know that I need Him.


After I spoke my dad said something really cool. He was reflecting on how much I've been through. I told him that yes, I've been through a lot, but compared to others, I really haven't. He said that what I have been through, though, I've taken complete advantage of. I've lived every moment to the full, whether it's good or bad, exciting or hurtful. I take every experience and live it, and learn as much as I possibly can from it.

That got me thinking about that quote, "Live life to the fullest" and how the people who believe in this quote are usually the ones living the happy part of life to the fullest. This isn't necessarily bad, but I believe in living every moment to the fullest - even the hard ones. You can learn a lot from the most painful experiences in life. That's why most of the time, those questions like, "Why does a good God let terrible things happen?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" cannot really be answered. All we can do is trust that our God is good and that there is so much more going on than what we can see.

Take advantage of those rough times that do come. Learn from them, you'll learn a lot more about yourself.

This, I believe, is truly "living life to the fullest."

--Peace and Love.