Beloved

How can I express these things that I'm feeling?

I need a new entire alphabet to voice these thoughts I'm concealing.

But words don't explain this truth that I've found

I've been bound

up by darkness, lies and deceit

when all along, there's been a God who loves me?

Loves

me?

Now I'm not talking about this kiss

that stole my heart and innocence 

the sweetness in his lips

left me hungry, thirsty, desperate for more, see

this lust-filled love left a hole in me

as I sat there, crying out to a God I no longer believed

in, trying to let reality sink

in. Either something was stolen or I gave it away

but that kiss I thought said "I love you" was actually sent to take

me. Take me to a place where darkness was my friend,

my life became a lie, I was too broken to mend. 

A child never forgets

the tragedies his early life begets

when life becomes more than imagination

when games and toys are used for the emancipation

of the mind, from the heart, from the soul

see, how lust leads us to a black hole

of mindless searching, desperate longing for

something, someone, to offer us more.

Well let me tell you here and now

this amazing truth has somehow been left out

of religious churches of political beliefs

by people who are trapped in their made up philosophies

that there is a God who knows what I've done

where I have been and who I've become

but He doesn't look down like that disappointed father

He doesn't reject like that heartbroken mother does her daughter.

No,

this God is about more than

this superficial, conditional love, and

He wants to love me.

He wants

me.

After years of trying to get me to see

that all my life He's been chasing after me.

He says I'm His, I barely even know Him

my eyes have been blinded by all of this sin I don't wanna show Him.

But His love is too strong 

too powerful to keep out

I beg, take everything that You're not about 

away. I don't want it

anymore, today I submit

to You, the real Lover, the real Friend

the One who stepped in and made everything different

who showed that love is more than all I've known

that love is life itself

He died so this would be shown.

See, all my life I've been lied to

I thought the purpose of love was to simply be used

but God came in and showed me

that He has a love and life to offer me

that's real.

--Peace and Love.