This is the message that wants to resonate within my heart.
My story is mine. My experiences are mine. Everything I've been through, everyone I've met has played a role in shaping who I am right now. My thoughts, my desires, my dreams - they're all mine. My fears are legitimate. My hurts are real. My emotions are valid.
I am who I am!
But for some reason, I've been caught up in the fear, in the lie that who I am will not be accepted. That who I am is not good enough. That who I am isn't worth sharing with the world. But this fear, this lie, is straight up irrational. In fact, I could almost go as far as to say that it's nonexistent. Because time and time again, as I share a small piece of myself with another, it's not rejection I feel, but acceptance. Rarely am I disregarded, yet multiple times I've been embraced for who I am.
Yet the doubt in me wonders if this is so because these people have not yet seen or met "the real me", but only parts of me. If I allowed my heart to live freely, would I still be embraced? Would I still be accepted? Or will I be disposed of, just like my greatest fear tells me?
So there's always this battle between my fear and I. I wanna be free, yet I'm afraid to be. For what will happen when I am free still remains a mystery. I'm like a bird who sits in a cage with the door wide open. I am free, yet I'm afraid to embrace my freedom for fear of the unknown.
And then I ask myself, what is it exactly, that I'm afraid of? For wouldn't it be better to be rejected for who you are rather than who you show to others? Isn't it better to have others reject the real you, as opposed to being rejected and also being a slave to the thought that maybe if that person knew the real you, they wouldn't have rejected you in the first place? Wouldn't it be better to know that if rejected, you know exactly why, and that reason is out of your control?
So why am I so scared?
I wanna fly. I have the wings to do so, I just have to take the leap and try.
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I am madly in love with Jesus Christ. He's the reason why I live, the only reason why I do anything - and that's the truth!
I am an artist at heart, an artist in mind. I think abstractly, creatively, uniquely.
I am extremely intrapersonal - I'm always open to areas of growth or change within myself.
I love people. And even though I may not always agree with their philosophy or view on life, I still love to hear their stories. Everyone has a story, it's what makes us who we are. It's what shapes how we see things, see others, see the world.
I have a lust for LIFE. For true and real life. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have that.
Because of this, I don't get involved in the "party scene". I don't "hook up" with guys or anything of the such. I've been there, and I don't believe real life is found in them.
I believe in the beauty of purity. I believe that it is a powerful instrument for true life and and real love. I can't wait to meet and be with my husband, and I believe our story will be one of beauty and of power. I believe that our story will touch the lives of many, and give people an enormous amount of hope.
I have a huge heart for women. My desire is for them to fully know the valuable treasures that they are. The best way to show them this is by living in a way that proves I believe I am a valuable treasure. My hope is that this gives them hope. Hope in believing that the same is true for them.
I believe in the power, healing, beauty, discovery, adventure and challenge of love. I believe true love stretches us in ways we never thought possible. I believe that it will test our fears, and then conquer them. I believe it is the most hardcore thing to ever participate in. I believe that it's what all of us long for at our core.
I believe that God is True and Real Love - and I believe that He wants to give it all to us.
I am who I am, take it or leave it.
--Peace and Love.
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